VOICE OF HOST: LETS MEET CONTESTANT NUMBER ONE hes a skitzophranic serial killa klown who says women love his sexy smile lets see if his charm will work on Sharon Sharon, whats your question for Number 1?
Sharon: Number 1, i belive first impressions last forever if u were to eat dinner with me and my
family, how would you make it last forever?
hmm well lets see id have to think about it i might show up in a tux HA! but i doubt it id probably just show up naked like i always do and look your mama in the eye and tell her FUCK YOU! hurry up bitch im hungry i smell spaghetti, i pinch her loopy ass and tell her get the food ready your dad would probably start trippin, and get me pissed, id have to walk up and bust him in the fuckin lips! its dinnertime, were hearin grace from your mother i pull a forty out and pour some for your little brother im steady starin at your sister, ill tell ya this, ya know for only 13 SHE GOT SOME BIG TITS! after that, your dad would try to jump again, but only this time id put the 40 to his chin after your mom dies the dishes and the silverware, id dry fuck her till i nut in my underwear
HOST: now lets meet contestant number 2 hes a psychopathic deranged crackhead freak who works for the dark carnival he says women call him stretch nutz Sharon, lets hear your question…
SHARON: i like a man whos not afraid to show his true emotion, a man who expresses himself in his own special way. number 2, if u were to fall in love with me, how would you show me that you care?
first thing, i could never love you, you sound like a witchy bitch yo FUCK YOU! but if i did, id probably show you that i care by takin all these mothafuckas outta here id go through your phone book, and whack em all, then find contestant number one and break his fuckin jaw (WHAT!??) anyone that looked at you would have to pay, id be blowin fuckin nuggets off all day id grab your titties, and stretch em down past your waist, let em go and watch em both spring up in your face id sing love songs to ya the best i can get ya naked and hit it like a CAVE MAN! we go to the beach and walk through the sand i throw a little in your face and say im just playin as you spit it all out, i rub your back, and grab your underwear and WEDGE IT UP YOUR ASS CRACK!
~~~laughter and applause~~~
HOST: well it sounds like contestant number 2 is just overflowing with sensitivity, Sharon its a tough choice so far, sharon lets have your last question to find out whos gonna have the rights to your neden
SHARON: ok, if we were at a dance club, and you both noticed me at the same time, tell me, how would you each get my attention and what would your pick up line be who ever’sthe smoothest wins!
first, id sliiide up the bar, and tell ya that i cant believe how fuckin fat you are id say i like the way you make your titties shake, and if you lost a little weight you’d look like Ricki Lake
FUCK that! youd be joggin me quick, id order you a drink , and stir it with my dick, and then to get your attention in a crowded place, id simply walk up and stick my nutz in your face
yeah freak her with your nutz, yo, that’ll get her
TELL HER that SHES FAT, YEAH THAT’LL WORK EVEN BETTER
look, fuck you, i got a strong rap shit you dont want contestant number two hes mad whack, i walked in a barn, and there he was, standin up on a bucket Haaaa tryin to fuck it it was big fuckin smelly ass farm llama
DAMN DAWG! how ya gonna diss your mama??
~~~champagne popping and laughing~~~