A man walked into a pet shop and said,
– “I’d like a puppy for my son.”
– “Sorry sir,” said the store owner, “we don’t do part exchange.”

A vampire bat comes back to his fellow vampires with a blood on his mouth. They ask him where he got the blood. He asks them,
– “Did you see that tree back there?”
– “Sure,” they reply.
– “Well I didn’t!”

– My dog is a nuisance. He chases everyone on a bicycle. What can I do?
– Take his bike away.

Advert in a newspaper: Big dog for sale, eats anything – fond of children.

A frog telephoned the Psychic Hot line and was told,
– “You are going to meet a beautiful, young woman who will want to know everything about you.”
The frog said,
– “That’s great! Will I meet her at a party?”
– “No,” said the psychic. “Next term – in her biology class.”