Do you Know? if not learn

Do you know all about April 1?
Yes, I’m fooly aware of it!

What’s the difference between Thanksgiving and April Fool’s Day?
On one you’re thankful and on the other you’re prankful!

Why is everyone so tired on April 1?
Because they’ve just finished a long March!

What’s the best day for monkey business?
The first of Ape-ril!

Why does a flamingo lift up one leg ?
Because if he lifted up both legs it would fall over !

Who invented fractions ?
Henry the 1/8 !

What does “Minimum” mean ?
A very small mother !

What does “Maximum” mean ?
A very big mother !

What’s the difference between an American student and an English student ?
About 3000 miles !

What sleeps at the bottom of the sea ?
A kipper !

What’s the nearest thing to silver ?
The Lone Ranger’s bottom !

Why did Robin Hood only steal from the rich ?
Because the poor have nothing worth taking !

What kind of biscuit would you find at the south pole ?
A penguin !

What is a skeleton ?
Bones, with the person off !

What is “out of bounds” ?
An exhausted kangaroo !

What is the most slippery country in the world ?
Greece !

What might you eat in Paris ?
The trifle tower !

If two’s company and three a crowd, what are four and five ?
Nine !

Who was the best actor in the bible ?
Samson, he brought the house down !

What kind of fish can’t swim ?
Dead ones !

What do golfers use in China ?
China tees !

What is the strongest bird ?
A crane !

What happens when you throw a green stone in the red sea ?
It gets wet !

What do Scotsmen eat ?
Tart’n’pie !

Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year ?
Pupil: 12 – 2nd January, 2nd February…!

Teacher: This is the third time I’ve had to tell you off this week, what have you got to say about that?
Pupil: Thank heavens it’s Friday !

Teacher: Didn’t you hear me call you ?
Pupil: But you said not to answer you back !

Teacher: Why can’t you ever answer any of my questions ?
Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn’t be much point in me being here !

Teacher: What came after the stone age and the bronze age ?
Pupil: The sausage !

Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you’ve only drawn the cow ?
Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass !

Teacher: You new here aren’t you, what’s your name ?
Pupil: Fred Mickey Smith

Teacher: I’ll call you Fred Smith then.
Pupil: My dad won’t like that.

Teacher: Why is that ?
Pupil: He doesn’t like people taking the Mickey out of my name !

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses ?
Because his class was so bright !

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher ?
He couldn’t control his pupils !

Teacher: What family does the octopus belong to ?
Pupil: Nobody I know !

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